The first step in explaining cremation to children is for you, the adult, to have an understanding about how cremation works. Click here to learn more about the cremation process

Follow the child’s lead.

If you listen to her and pay attention to their behaviors, the child will teach you what they are curious about, what doesn’t interest them, what makes them scared. Give them only as much information as they want to know; answer their questions openly and honestly. If they have more questions, they’ll ask – especially if you’ve shown that you will answer their questions honestly and openly.

Speak in simple terms that a child can understand.

Some would say that cremation is too violent a process to explain to children, yet children can cope with what they know. They cannot cope with what they don’t know or have never been told. Often their imaginations can conjure up explanations much scarier then reality! Here are a few ideas to explain their questions:

• Cremation has been used for thousands of years. The ancient Greeks and Romans built funeral pyres (rhymes with hires), which were stacks of wood the body was put on top of. The wood was set afire and the body burned, too. Funeral pyres are still used in India today.
• There is no smell and no smoke when a body is cremated. It just gets very hot - about three times as hot as your oven at home can get. The heat burns away all the parts of the body except for some pieces of bone. Try to avoid using terms such as fire, flames, or burn if possible as they may be frightening.
• Cremation doesn’t hurt. The person is dead, which means the body doesn’t work anymore. Its heart doesn’t beat, its brain has stopped working, it doesn’t breathe and it doesn’t feel anything anymore.
• The funeral director handles the body with a lot of respect and takes it very seriously. Just like you do, they understand that their loved one was a unique, special person who deserves to leave this world with dignity and love.
• After cremation, what’s left of the body looks like fishbowl rocks or kitty litter, except it’s white because it’s bone. It’s put in a clear plastic bag so you can see it if you want to. It is then placed in an urn much like a casket is used for a body.
• When a dead body is buried in the ground, it breaks down after months and years and just a skeleton is left. Cremation makes this happen much, much faster.