Mike O’Connell, Emma O’Connell, Christa Walz (Adoray & Treasures of the Heart)

After the service ends and the casseroles are gone, families are left with something no one really prepares them for.

The quiet.

And then… the stuff.

In this episode of The Good Grief Podcast, the conversation turns to something deeply personal and often overwhelming, what to do with a loved one’s belongings after they pass.

From a father’s coffee mug to a worn sweatshirt that still carries their scent, these aren’t just items. They are memories, identity, and connection.

Mike O’Connell describes the moment many families face: standing in a still home, realizing they now have to open drawers, sort through closets, and make decisions that feel far bigger than they expected.

And that’s where things can get complicated.

Different family members process grief differently. Some want to keep everything. Others want to donate. Some avoid it altogether. These differences can quickly turn into tension.

But this episode offers something rare, practical guidance paired with real compassion.

You’ll hear why slowing down matters, how grief has no timeline, and why what looks like “junk” to one person may be deeply meaningful to another.

You’ll also learn how organizations like Treasures of the Heart help families turn loss into legacy, giving items a second life in the community, while helping others heal in the process.

Because in the end, this isn’t about getting rid of things.

It’s about carrying the story forward.

Episode Highlights (Timestamps)

00:00:00 – Why belongings become overwhelming after loss
00:01:30 – The emotional weight behind everyday items
00:03:00 – Family conflict when sorting possessions
00:05:30 – Why there is no “right way” to grieve belongings
00:06:30 – The importance of slowing down the process
00:07:30 – Turning physical items into digital memories

00:09:00 – Reframing “getting rid of things” into legacy

00:10:30 – How donations support the community
00:12:00 – What Treasures of the Heart accepts (and doesn’t)
00:17:00 – Guilt associated with letting go
00:19:30 – The “keep, donate, unsure” method
00:20:30 – Including children in the process

00:23:00 – Real family conflict stories (and resolution)
00:25:30 – When families don’t agree on items
00:26:30 – Why pre-planning prevents future conflict

Takeaways 

Key Takeaways

• You’re not sorting items, you’re sorting memories.
• Grief has no timeline. You don’t have to rush decisions.
• What feels insignificant to you may mean everything to someone else.
• Donating items can help continue your loved one’s legacy.
• Conflict is common when families aren’t aligned, planning ahead matters.
• A simple system like “keep, donate, unsure” can reduce overwhelm.
• Letting go is not betrayal, it can be part of healing.

Memorable Quotes (With Names)

Mike O’Connell:

• “There’s a moment after the casseroles are gone… now you have to open the drawers.”
• “What you think is garbage, someone else might find extremely meaningful.”
• “The main reason people rush is so they don’t have to feel the grief.”
• “Don’t make your kids guess. Pre-plan and show them love.”

Emma O’Connell:

• “You’re not just sorting items—you’re sorting memories.”
• “Grief is not a timeline. It looks different for everyone.”
• “It’s not getting rid of things—it’s passing them on to a new story.”
• “Sometimes letting go is part of healing.”

Christa Walz:



• “Every item holds a story, and now it gets to start a new one.”
• “One size does not fit all when it comes to grief.”
• “Sometimes people just need more time before they’re ready to let go.”

Transcript

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: [00:00:00] We always have interesting podcasts and topics , but I have to admit this one honestly, to our team here, I've never thought of, and I'm looking forward to what we can put together here with this, but it makes perfect sense. You know, when my dad died, we had a, a lot of things that we were sorting through, trying to figure out what are we, you can only estate away so many things.

Like I don't want that. You don't want that. What do we do with it? And we didn't really know what to do with it. So. I think this is a great thing to discuss and we can take it to a whole other level. So Emma, good to see you. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Good to see you, 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Mike. Good to see you. Thank you. And as well, Krista, it's great to see you too.

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yes, thanks for having me again. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: You bet. You and I spoke about add at Home Healthcare and hospice along with Mike, and obviously this is a part of all of that. But we're gonna loose this in after we have a brief little discussion and we're gonna cut you loose with a bunch of questions when you're ready.

Sounds good. We go. Okay, great. Mike. There are really hundreds of storylines behind someone close to you dying, but this is a biggie. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: It [00:01:00] is to me. I just thought, we always talk about death and dying funerals, prearranging, but this one just all of a sudden came up and I thought this would be perfect for us to do one on. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. It happens to the best of families. It happened to everybody at some point, what do you do with. Dad's favorite coffee cup or the Afghan that mom made, or in my case, I just love curling up in my dad's old sweatshirts from the fire department.

Although tattered and looking old, it's just something that, brings me feeling close and even just the smell. Bring me that comfort. So yeah, they're treasures. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. There, there's a moment after the casserole and the lime jello with shaved carrots. You know when those are all gone and things settle down after the sympathy cards are stacked and responded to, you know, when the family stands in that quiet room and realizes, oh.

Now we must now open the drawers and the closets and go through everything and figure all this out. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Right. You know, it gets to a space where you go home [00:02:00] to a still room or still home where there are memories that are frozen in place. And I think sometimes you don't know what to do with those.

And I think there are some that wanna just leave it, but you, you kind of can't. And so, you know, I always think about legacy and things that you can. Move forward. If someone else can enjoy those great things that maybe you don't have the ability to have space for, that's really not a bad idea. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah.

You're not just sorting items, you're sorting memories that you have with that person. Whether it's, the cookware that mom made the best cookies with or just the coffee cup that your dad had cup coffee every morning. So, it's definitely just, everybody has a different viewpoint.

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: We, yeah. Great Cup do use. We've got great coffee now we've got, really comfortable sweatshirts. You're painting a picture. This is beautiful. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Those are all the things you know's that come to mind, right? True. That's 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: excellent. Yeah. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Mm-hmm. They might not have a look like they mean a watch or that they're worth a lot, [00:03:00] but it's your heart that Exactly.

Really? I came from close.

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: That's very, very nice. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: You know, inevitably, Pete there's gonna be different cast members families on this experience. You're gonna have one that's just like our, my family. There's gonna be one sibling that wants to keep everything, one that wants to donate everything, one that wants to avoid the house period, or one that wants to, to, toss everything in the dumpster.

Everyone has a different idea of what's in forth and what is it. As you can imagine, this is a breeding ground for conflict and hurt feelings. We have deep emotional feelings. Following the deaths of someone that's very close to you, adding different viewpoints and relationships. You have a recipe for tension, especially when the second parent dies.

That's a big one, because now they don't have to filter their feelings they're worried about, well, I don't want to get mom or dad mad when the second parent dies. I always say the gloves come off and they don't have the filter. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Isn't that true? I think we had, in my family, one of each, no question.

Uh, my brother was the [00:04:00] hoarder. I was kind of the cr an elster guy. You a hybrid? Yeah, a hybrid, but it's very interesting that you do say that because I think everybody has their own levers that they pull with how to deal with things, and some just walk away and it's just too earth, too much.

But in the end, I've, as I've gotten older, I think a little bit more about legacy. And what our family traditions are and what matters to us and look at you. Something that was more important to a sibling that's maybe less important to me. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Mm-hmm. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: So you, we have that, and I think that's easier said than done.

Right? So I have a process where we can all come to a conclusion where it can go to if it space. I think that's a really good thing. And I think it's important to be aware of something like what we're doing here. I was hoping you're gonna tell us about legitimate concerns. Natalie, leave us hanging here.

I'm hoping you give us our audience and guided, helpful Gibson, all of this, Mike, what [00:05:00] you guys got for, of course we are, we're gonna do that for you. You let's 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: go. Absolutely. Yeah. There aren't, you absolutely must do this or you absolutely can't do that, you know? Everybody's going to be different in everybody's journey with, something that are more sentiment than others.

It's just gonna look different for everybody. So we're here to give the helpful, suggestions. 'cause sometimes you do have to hear those things to get the idea that there are things you can do that will. Offer comfort and healing.

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: So we're not here at treasures of the Hard by accident.

This has been a direct result of things that, two, you deal with daily, weekly, monthly basis. And it's enough where it's topical enough where's like, Hey, let's get this out there. Let's talk about that. I think that's great. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. We love working with ery and of course treasures of the hearts, but Okay.

To answer your question, before we jump into all that, I want to go over a few ideas that helps family facilitate all this whole experience and give 'em some guided [00:06:00] examples of what they can do. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: I would say my, first and foremost is slow it down. Grief is not a timeline that one size fits all.

grief changes over time. If there's, you know, that. Hump that you have to get over before you do decide to, make any steps forward to donate or, just go through it in general. That may be a different feeling in six months. It might be more comforting. It's, it's not something you have to do tomorrow.

you can. Things up later on. It can be, it can be a process that you can decide as time goes because really getting rid of things is not something you can just come and get back. I mean, I see something that I don't even go over here. Right? But, um, maybe I could get that back, but that's not always the case.

So. Slow it down, I would say is something that really comes to mind. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: My sister kept a lot of things after my mom passed. It was eight years ago, and that was the second parent. So, [00:07:00] she had a hard time parting and now, eight years later now, she's been donating some of other things. So I've been seeing some of my moms think at the Treasure Store.

It's been really neat. Yeah, my, my sister had a much harder time on letting go of like the objects. Mm-hmm. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: What do you think was the. Component to making it okay to let go of those objects. Did you see a time frame? What, what happened? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: I think it would, I think it was like in her grief journey, she just needed extra time.

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Right. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Me, within my grief journey, what I did was I would take a photo and it would have a photo of that I. So that I always had it with me, and then I could kind of release it a little bit sooner. Mm-hmm. First was she just needed more time to get through her brief journey. Yeah. Like I said, one size is not familiar when it comes with the grief journey, so 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: you know, you could get that back, but she gonna buy it.

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yes, I do. Okay. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Okay. Just wanna make sure, you know, Kriss, Krista's sitting here. Yeah. You know, there's gonna be certain things that jump out that are highly sentimental to others. There's obviously photos, letters, and like Krista said, you can scan those items and then turn 'em digitally. They [00:08:00] don't take up space and then they can be saved indefinitely.

As Emma mentioned earlier, you, you've got flannel shirts that have stories. There's mi, military memorabilia, certain tools grant be used, and also books can be extremely sentimental. I want you to picture this, mom's bible that's highlighted margined with her favorite passages. you've got that tattered cookbook, um, with food stains on it.

Um, around here. Those, those the best. Uh, wedding present I ever got was a used homemaker's cookbook. We use it all the time. It's awesome. Um, you know, those, those are lifetime of memories for sure. And, and like Emma said, slow it down. There's no rush. And this is especially true deep down. The main reason you are trying to rush is to get rid of everything is so you don't have to feel or sit in that uncomfortableness or grief.

And one more thing, have some grace and understanding what you think is garbage. Someone else might find extremely healing and special. So don't judge and don't project your [00:09:00] feelings on your other family members.

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. Yeah. And, and to go off that, you know, it's one of those things where people say, whoa, we need to get rid of so much stuff.

There's so much junk in here, and blah, blah, blah. I just would like to kinda reframe that and kind of, instead of thinking of, oh, we have to get rid of all this stuff. Think of it as, you're passing it on to a new story. Especially here with Adray and Treasures from the Heart, it you're not just giving that to, you know, a junkyard.

You're giving that to a really beautiful place that could help it become a part of somebody else's story. And it's not getting rid of it. It's kinda like your Nathan, the Nature book. You might pass on that book, another person. So it's just a way that they're passing on their legacy to another person.

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah, that's just kind of crossed me, is that, Krista, you're your team. Sits with families when they have to say goodbye through some of the most adverse, things in their lives. And then you get to help [00:10:00] them say goodbye. But then you also help them carry on that next chapter in their lives, um, extending their story in life.

So yeah, it just kind of dawned on me. That's pretty cool. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Yeah. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: You know, their legacy carries on when you let it. There's the old saying that one's a man, trash is another man's treasure. That's how you probably got your name. Yeah. So there's so much need in the communities. Clothing can be gifted to treasures of the hearts.

And I wanna note that you know what of places like treasure, because it goes directly back to the community to help friends and your friends and your neighbors and your relatives. Goodwill's, a large organization where the CEO public made $750,000. So every dollar adoray makes goes right back to the community, and I think that's huge.

And so tools, you know, can be gifted to young craftsmen and craft supplies can be donated to schools or nursing homes. Medical equipment can be used and helpful, less fortunate. So there's so many great ways of carrying on that legacy. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Mm-hmm. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Yeah. This is, uh, really cool stuff. [00:11:00] give me some ideas of what you accept. I mean, are there things you say, now we can't do this, but we can't do that. What does that look like? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yeah. Yeah. So we do, um, we always. Say, if you have no ideas, you can check it out on our website or you can stop into any store.

We have candles that we can give to kind of help people when they're going through, making those decisions on what items to go different places. We like gently use clothing, home wears artwork. We take a lot of different things. Some of the things we don't take, I would say is probably easier because we take so many things is we, we don't take any beds, bedding, pillows, mattress hovers, mattresses.

If we have large furniture that's coming in, we like to have someone call first to make sure we have room for it or something that would sell at our stores. All of our locations, they can call the different number for each location so that they can talk to that manager to determine whether or not we can accept it.

One of the things too, Mike, when you're talking about we have our nurses that sit with the families and [00:12:00] then to tie everything in is our treasures. Employees being able to meet, A lot of times the families will come directly to treasure with their loved ones things, and they get to hear the story on the back end.

So it really ties to company together really well. The treasures. Volunteers and employees get to hear about those, about how that nurse was, about how that social worker and chaplain were with the family and as they're, taking that next step in their grief journey of parting with their locals.

Treasures, I always like to say too is every item holds a story, but now it's getting a chance to go on and, and start another story with another family too. Mm-hmm. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: You got to passing it on, right? Mm-hmm. Um. For sure. So true. More one location, right? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: We do have, we have four locations. Four, yes. So we are in Baldwin right now, which is our oldest location.

It's over 25 years old. We have River Falls was our second location that we opened, and they are around 24 years old, I believe. Osseola Love was our third location. They [00:13:00] around nine years old. And then we opened our newest fourth location in Menominee, um, less than a year ago. So in June we will turn one

awesome. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: This is an off the grid collecting. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Okay. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: How do you get Chairman Fred? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: We have very skilled employees that are very good at pricing. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Really. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Absolutely. So I would say there's two. The skills are really the sorting and the break, 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: right? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Sorting, sorting takes. A lot of work as well of what things that we can keep to put on our floor, what things would pass along to a different company who will pay some other things. we also will pass along to items to church trip sales other nonprofits that also have thrift. Smaller thrift stores and thrift sales. And then we also have a company who comes and takes some of the other things that we can't sell in the store. So there's a huge sorting process that goes on.

And then it's all based on the market, right? So you kind of. Have to look at what [00:14:00] things are going for at other rift stores is kind of how we try to price and we try to price kind of below that. we want product to be moving constantly because we're constantly getting product

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: refreshed.

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yes. I think people will see that when they visit any of our stores, but the displays are always diverse. they're always fresh, so ladies do such an excellent job of, setting up the displays for all the different season, all the different holidays. So we're constantly getting that product in the back door.

So we want it to constantly be moving out the front door. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: That's Frank, 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: you know, speaking up. Merchandise going in and out like a revolving door. So are the people coming? We've had people just continually come in. Yes. I'm shocked at that. Yes. That's so awesome. Yes. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: And apparently today they've had four customers who never heard of us before.

We're new for the first time. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Imagine if they had four today, like 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: I know. Which is great. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: And this all we're at mid break at, so imagine. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Its very busy day [00:15:00] today. The sun is shining. It's people are ready to shop and be 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: out. Yeah. Maintenance's awesome. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Spring cleaning 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: done. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yeah. More stuff. Yes. And actually we just saw a customer who I thought we were dropping off her good at the back door and then she came and shopped at the front.

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Perfect. Is there anything you don't take in? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: So we don't take small appliances, electronics TVs, VCRs, microwaves. Any, anything that would ha need, like a safety code. We don't take like computers or computer components. VHS cassette tapes. We do take CDs. We do take DVDs. Not a lot like encyclopedias.

Remember, we all have the encyclopedias when we ran Books just don't sell and don't, we do sell a lot of books. So a lot of fiction and nonfiction books, love children's books will sell. We only take games if they completes. So you, we definitely want people to kind of comb through the things.

When I'm kind of going through my things and getting ready for donations, I will look at it and say, if as I saw this in thrift store, would I purchase it? Or is this not? [00:16:00] You know, something that I would even look like at, so that, that's one of the things that I kind of try to, to think about when I'm preparing my things for donation. we don't take any workout equipment, we don't take cribs, medical equipment, things like that. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: So you just take all clothes. Then 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: we do not put out onto the fork clothing that is stained or has sold. So if that is something that, you know, you have a lot of. Things that have holes and stains, we can't bubbles unfortunately.

We have to figure out a way to dispose of those things. Mm-hmm. And if you're thinking about it, you know, you mentioned Goodwill and, and they say they're a nonprofit, they're a little bit more on the profit side of it. Any place you take things, they have to dispose of it. We are a small non-profit, so try with the cost of like dumpsters and garbage and things like that.

Um, if it's stuff that we can't sell. On that fourth, and we are responsible for getting rid of it too. So otherwise, understandably so. A lot of times we have families who are in that grief journey where it's like they can't make [00:17:00] that decision. So we are perfectly happy with our patients to be like, Nope, we'll help you with that.

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. So in a nice way, you're saying this ist a dumping ground, right? You don't want kind of the tatter things. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Correct. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: But at the same time. You're there for that emotional support of someone's having a hard time, correct? 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Yes. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. Great. That's awesome. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Yeah. That brings me to another piece that I think of as guilt.

I'm sure there's people out there that are gonna completely get what I'm gonna say here, but there can be a huge feeling of guilt when you get rid of something that meant so much to mom and dad. Um, that goes for photos, discarding personal effects can feel up. You're almost giving up it for your children.

But that's not for everyone. Now we see broken items do not hold their loved one anymore, and getting rid of old paperwork is not betrayal. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Sometimes that actually can be a part of healing. You know, it's to kind of take that next step to donate. Like I said before, there's no timeline to it, so take that step when [00:18:00] you're ready.

But it's, it's a part of healing and it's a way that you can take a step. In the right direction, I think. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: No question. One for you here. Is this drop off or do you pick up as well? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: So as of right now, we do not currently offer pickup. So it is drop off. All of the stores have their drop off hours listed at the front in the back.

We also have all of our drop off hours located online@aery.org. Anyone could go in there to see what the drop offs are. We also have each treasures from the Heart store, has their own Facebook page as well. Um, and there they can find the drop off hours. Also, they can find the different sales.

We have many different sales. We have a colored tag system, so each week, a different colored tag maybe on sale. They go through a, a process of starting at 25 and then maybe 50, and then if we still have some left, they might feed in 75 for staff, so you can get some really great [00:19:00] deals. Each of the stores all have their own hours as well.

Each town is different, so each town's needs are different. So we kind of tailor our store hours, our sales, and all of those things based on the town needs 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: about financial or tax benefits how does that work? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yes. So everything is donated to us. Everything is sold and all 100% of proceeds of all of the four treasures go directly back into operations for Adoray Home Health and Hospice, because we are a.

Nonprofit organization. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Perfect. Uh, Mike YaMma, what advice would you have? 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: Uh, if I had to give advice on, kind of starting the process of, not to say getting red, but, you know, donating for the, I would say make three categories. So you're gonna wanna do your keep and your donate, and then there's gonna be some unsures in there too.

So I think that unsure box can really. Hold a lot of value and a lot of [00:20:00] meaning because it lets us slow our grief journey down and lets us, reflect before we're, giving that to somebody else to start their story with those memories.

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: you know, at the same time, just sit with those emotions.

It's okay to cry and, and feel those memories. I say eat hydrate and his griefs exhausting and, and a spinoff of that. It's kind of a hydration story, but not necessarily, I guess. When my dad died, my siblings went through the big ticket items, the furniture and things like that, and then it was time to go through the drawers and the keepsakes.

And so I got myself a six pack and I sat and went through everything. You know, some stuff I smiled at and other stuff I cracked. But I found an extremely feeling for me, and it was just something I needed to do. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Makes you think about kids then, obviously. And what do you do with kids in this process?

You shield them, keep 'em away. Get them involved. What do you do with that? 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: I know personally, you know, coming from the stance of having lost my grandparents and, going through those [00:21:00] memories with my dad and other members of the family, there are things that really stayed with me and that I, really wanted someday if I could.

And so. I would say, I found it very meaningful that I was allowed to keep some of those things, maybe just something small you'll, probably be surprised at what some of your favorite things or your kids' favorite things are at Grandma and Grandpa's house and just don't avoid or.

making them give away something. If you thought it was a small something and maybe it was just a toy they played with that was at green's or again, some of that cookware or something, they attach themselves children due to. Maybe surprising things to us, but means a lot to them.

And so I think that, allowing them to be a part of the process and having a keepsake to keep their grandma and grandpa is, super important. So I think let 'em be a part of the process. I 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: think, uh, for the grandchildren from grandma the carol. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: [00:22:00] Yeah, that's what I was actually thinking of, but had carolers that, you set up at Christmas time and my grandma kept them out, or at least some of them out year round.

even now to this day, my sister and I, we have 'em at mom and dad's house and every Christmas that they come out, well, I want that. Oh well I want that one. Okay, well if you get that one, then I get that one. And so they still hold a lot of weaning to us. You know, they are still something that we, you know, I wouldn't say fight Oprah 'cause we definitely have our favorites and luckily they're different ones.

But yeah, they, they definitely are something that still hold a lot of value to us. They will mean 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: a lot 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: forever. Yeah. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: My mom had a pretty extensive hum collection we sat down, it was two sisters and I, my brother would live. That was. State at the time. So we saved some for him, but we, we did kind of the round robin picking.

Everyone got a chance to pick their favorite and then he went back the other way. Kinda like a draft. Yeah. And we, um, divided on our home homes to keep them. And those are something we looked at since [00:23:00] we were, babies and, someday, They became ours. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: So the two of you had it easy.

You agreed right 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: there. There was that. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Well, 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: But, 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: uh, 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Mike, what happens? People don't agree. Kristen just brought up something that it made me think talk about hums. But with society has changed so much. I'm sure you've heard it, but a lot of families have chinaware that go way back to their great grandma. You know, the younger kids don't have that formal dining room where they have the hutch and the, the glassware and the, and the plates. And they have no desire for, 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: they don't. And we, we, we sell many China set in our treasure stores, full China sets that come in beautiful China set. And that is interesting.

People do not. The younger generation does not want those China sets. I will say though, ours did not go off a hundred percent smoothly. My sister and I got in a fight over eating glass Pyrex, two cups measuring. Oh yeah. And after the [00:24:00] fat. Sit and laugh about how, how does that even, how is it possible that one glass rice cup gonna mm-hmm.

And you know, we can move on and laugh about it now, but it is, and it in emotion then all those different things. And one of the other things we tried to do is my mom, if she had like a dish that maybe, that we all, it was really me memorable at Christmas, we would split it.

We slid it into fours so that each one of us had it.

In are cupboard and every time you open your cupboard remind you of mom and dad. And that was nice too. We put a lot of sense into course. Yeah. 

Emma O'Connell, Funeral Director Assistant & Preplanning Specialist: It's not just the whole glass cup, it's the memory, 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: the feeling that it comes with it. It's, 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: it's not the physical object. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Correct. The 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: emotion that's surrounded the battery.

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: I left a circle back and see if the sister listens to this to see her story of that, 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: to see if she can laugh about it 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: now. Right. Exactly. 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: I can. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: Okay, so who got the. Oh yeah. Okay. That's why we're all, yeah, that's 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: okay. That makes sense. [00:25:00] Now we 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: get 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: it. Now we're all smiles. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: The applicant cut through them. Yeah, but PGS, you know what if they don't get along, but whether it's financial or sentimental, if you wanna bring out the worst and close families, make 'em guess, make 'em pick amongst themselves that, and I remember when my grandma died.

My mom told each of her three sisters, if one of you even the closest complain or crab about something. You can count me out and I'm gonna walk out of here. Because to her it wasn't worth it. And so then they all agree. They all said, I agree. And so they went into it. And what they did is they decided just to go, everybody got to pick something and then come back.

So it wasn't Pete, you know, why don't you go pick out 10 things and then Emma, you're next, and Christie you're next. It was 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4. And to me that was fair. That was, you know, letting them out. Pick something without making anybody feel special. [00:26:00] But you know, when conflict's high and you can't work that out, maybe have a neutral, neutral party come in, someone that's not biased, and that might be hard to find, but maybe it could be a pastor.

Maybe it's you, Pete but it's somebody that can come in that doesn't say, well, I'm fighting for you, Emma. Yeah, I don't worry about it. We'll, kind of, I'll, I'll make sure that you get that in line with this comment that, you know, there's, there's usually a theme to our talks, right, Pete, that we always talk about, going back to pre arranging.

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: Yeah, 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: but prearrange, put your ideas down so you don't make your kids or loved ones. Guess what you want. Don't fit them against child versus child. Be proactive. Show them love prearrange. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: It is the easiest decision you can make, and it's something you can control and make everybody's life so much easier and it's not hard.

That's my take. Krista, final thoughts from you in terms of. When all this [00:27:00] started and, and you know, you've got not one but four stores now. And it's, uh, feeding, add array home, healthcare and hospice. Did you think it would get to this level? 

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: No. I, I didn't think we'd ever have four stores and I, and I think I, I had told you in the previous podcast, I've done a few, I've, I've been with the company for almost 21 years and at arrays 31 years this year.

So I've been around since pretty much the, beginning of the first stores that we had. The need was there because of cuts in reimbursement from Medicare was the brain started the brainstorming session for the first treasures from car store, and at that time when Medicare changed the payment model.

Many agencies in Wisconsin, many home health agencies in Wisconsin had to close their doors. And this was a group of ladies who sat down and brainstormed to come up with the friend store. [00:28:00] And that's literally been our saving grace to be able to provide home health and hospice, to our five counties that we provide care in to, to the rural communities.

Where fair is very much needed. 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: That's fantastic. And I'm sure we will have websites and locations in the description here on this podcast for everybody to check out. So, uh, we know you've got a lot going on in your day. Appreciate you're taking great time to chat. Yes. Thank love doing these positive.

You're natural. You do a great job. Thank you. You're right on point. Thank you. 

Mike O'Connell, Owner, Funeral Director, & Preplanning Specialist: I appreciate 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: it. Really good stuff. It's been, a learning experience for me and, really cool from one of our podcast perspective to be here. To get a sense of the vibe. This is really a great spot and I would say anybody in the area, check out one of these four stores and, uh, we appreciate you hosting us here at Treasure From the Heart.

Christa Walz of Adoray & Treasures of the Heart: Yes, thank you. Thank you for covering and wanting to learn about us, 

Pete Waggoner, Podcast Host: and thank you everybody for listening. This is another quality edition of the Good Grief [00:29:00] Podcast.