What’s Behind the Suit We Wear
It’s Not About Death, It’s About People
Most people assume our work revolves around death, but the truth is, it revolves around people. In fact, we often say, “People come to funerals not because someone died, but because someone lived.”
What Funeral Directors Really Do
What surprises people most is how little our job has to do with the technical side of death care and how much it involves guiding families through some of the most emotional, complicated, and meaningful moments of their lives.
In reality, only about 20% of what we do involves removals, embalming, or cremation.
The rest?
We become part event planner, part counselor, part problem-solver, part referee, and sometimes simply a steady presence when everything feels overwhelming and uncertain.
A Year’s Work in a Matter of Days
I often compare it this way: what a wedding planner does in a year, we do in a matter of days.
On any given day, we might help a family write an obituary that captures a lifetime in a few short paragraphs, coordinate military honors, navigate complex family dynamics, or sit quietly while a spouse shares stories of a love that lasted decades.
There is a lot of listening, more than anything else.
The Work You Don’t See
Another surprise is the amount of behind-the-scenes coordination.
From gathering vital information and filing legal documents to coordinating clergy, cemeteries, musicians, flowers, refreshments, and audio-visual elements, there are dozens upon dozens of details to manage.
Families see the service itself, but much of the work happens quietly in the background to ensure everything is meaningful, smooth, and seamless.
The Beauty in the Work
And perhaps most unexpectedly, there is a great deal of beauty in this work.
Not in the loss itself, but in the stories shared, the relationships honored, and the way families come together to celebrate a life.
You see love in its most genuine and unfiltered form.
More Than a Job
If I have heard it once, I have heard it a thousand times: “I could never do what you do.”
But for us, this is not just a job. It is a calling.
We feel privileged to be invited into people’s lives at such a vulnerable time. In many ways, we become an extension of the families we serve.
Final Thought
What the public does not often see are the hours behind the scenes.
This work does not end when the doors close. It stays with you. It becomes part of who you are.
And when you truly love what you do, the reward is not measured in hours. It is felt in the quiet moments, the gratitude, and the trust placed in you.
At the end of the day, what separates one funeral home from another is not just services. It is the people.
That is the O’Connell Way.
Sincerely,
Mike O’Connell
O’Connell Family Funeral Homes
